Banning the negative talk in children

What was your childhood like in your school? 
Were your teachers nice? 
Do you remember the ones who used to yell at the class or have a positive attitude?

As i’ve been sitting here this morning making my classes work I got to thinking about a lesson that I taught last week that was sort of an A-HA! moment for me.

It had nothing to do with the effect that chemicals had on our plants for our science investigation..

Or the work on the working wall…

It had to do with the personality traits and characteristics of a character in a science fiction story that we were reading.  Keill was a young boy who wanted to be a legionnaire on his home planet.  He was only 12 years old and he had to get through a challenge within two days.  This challenge showed how brave, strong, patient, determined and loyal he was.  I had to explain to the children what the word characteristic meant and how they could apply that word to themselves.  I asked a few of them if they could start to describe themselves, just like we did for Keill.

They sat there for a few minutes, looking at me like what the heck are we supposed to say?  Finally I gave them an example. 

Ok I said…I think Sanjida is a very hard worker.  That is a characteristic that describes her.

Some faces started to light up.  Others just sat looking at me blankly. 

I asked them again to come up with some ways to describe themselves.  Some hands went up.

Funny, thoughtful, pretty, tall…

All of a sudden after a few positive things I started to get some negative responses.

…naughty, loud, disorganized.

I was confused at this point because I didn’t expect the children to come out with negative ways of describing themselves.  Then I decided to ban the negative.  I told them that they were no longer allowed to use negative words, but had to focus on the positive.

After a few minutes, I didn’t get many hands up and then I finally asked how many of you find it difficult to come up with a positive way of describing yourself?

Two thirds of the class hands went up.  I was pretty shocked!  The reason for this was they were either too embarrassed to say something positive about themselves, OR they really has no idea how to compliment themselves and think positively.

When I asked why this was a boy put his hand up and said that he always remembers the negative things people say to him, like his parents, teachers and friends.  Surely, he has had positive things said to him – but when you are told negative things as well- you often remember them more clearer in your head.

It was an A-HA! moment  for me because it made me think about the way I talk to children.  It made me realize that I must STRESS the positive to them, and although children need to be told when they have done something negative they must be given a chance to learn from it and then be rewarded for the positive thing that they do afterwards to correct it.

Children are like little sponges.. they take in everything you say and believe it.  You tell them they are naughty and they will believe they are naughty.  You tell them how disorganized they are and they may grow up thinking they will always be disorganized.

I’m planning on trying to focus more on the positive in my classroom…

…and i’m really trying to use positive reinforcements for the children so that they don’t believe they are full of negatives.  Even if their handwriting isn’t the greatest or they continue to spell the same word wrong, giving them support and showing them how to do it and being a positive motivator is the key thing here.

Remember my plan of attack??  This definitely falls in to it.